Last year I started a relationship with a man. I told him right off the bat that I wasn't interested in anything serious. I had just come out of a long term marriage and was quite enjoying my independence and freedom. I also told him if he was interested in a "friends with benefits" relationship I was certainly game. He seemed pretty game for that as well, so I assumed we were on the same page. I also encouraged him to see other women...y'know to keep his options open.
Over the months I could see his feelings were developing into something deeper, more serious. So, being the honest, open person I am, I reiterated and made it clear that we didn't have a future that would be more than "just friends". I suggested that maybe we should stop seeing each other before he got hurt. He assured me he understood where I was coming from and that he was a big boy, fully capable of handling the situation and if he ended up being hurt, he could deal with it.
After ten months I noticed he was no longer in the same book, let alone the same page. He was seeing a future that involved us being together, living happily ever after, picket fence and all. A future that I didn't want, so I ended it. He was a sweet man who was always good to me and I hoped that maybe we could still be friends, sans the benefits, but friends just the same. After all, we were two adults who liked each other. I was willing to keep the bridge open...at least for light foot traffic if nothing heavier.
Well, that was a fucking pipe dream! Not only did he burn the bridge, he rigged it with C4 and blew the fuck out of that sucker! I have received several hateful texts from him. He accuses me of using him. Did I? I was with him for companionship and yes...sex, but I'm pretty sure I gave that back to him in spades, so did I use him? No, I don't think so. He calls me slut, though I didn't sleep around on him and have pretty much been laying low since our break up two months ago. He calls me a hateful bitch, though I was always honest with him.
So....here comes the advice. If you're in a "friends with benefits" relationship with an honest person, listen to what they say to you. If by chance they tell you it's not forever, believe them and either get out of it or enjoy it while it lasts. Don't ruin the good memories that you have with that person by replacing your love with hate. Hate will destroy us all. Keep your dignity. The pain will fade...it always does when we let go of it....I promise. If there is the chance to keep a friend, do it. 'Cause as in the wise words of Stabilo ....doesn't everybody wish they had just one more friend?
I know I do. I'm finding comfort in this song today. I hope you do too, no matter what side of the broken heart you're on. Love and peace friends........... ; )